Finally, you’ve heard those special words “You are promoted”. The promotion you have been chasing has arrived. Sure, it’s more demanding, but that’s why you have been working so hard. You have proven to everyone that you are fit for the challenge and ready for more responsibility.
Your phone rings and it’s the elite daycare center. Your child has been on the waitlist for one year, now there is an opening. Wow! Life is good. Everything you have wished for is happening. Your stars have aligned, but why are you not ecstatic? Why are you hesitant about telling your family about your new job? Why can’t you freely share with your stay at home girlfriends that you finally got a spot at the daycare?
Instead of excitement, you are questioning yourself: Should I take this position, since it requires more travel, hours, and responsibility? Can this daycare properly care for my child? Will my child feel abandoned? These are consistent thoughts of many moms who work outside their homes. They begin to feel guilty for opting for boardroom meetings instead of soccer games and recitals.
This guilt is deeply rooted from the images showcased to women as a “real mom”. The “real mom” never misses a birthday, recital or sports game. She stays up all night with her child constructing science projects or solving math problems. She leads the PTA and sends freshly baked goods for the school’s fundraiser.
The “real mom” image constantly wars against today’s working mom’s reality. It doesn’t matter how many laws are passed to provide women with equal rights nor does it matter how many women the media portrays as powerful working moms.
Most women still feel torn between two lovers: home and work. With more than 40% of women being the sole or primary breadwinner in their homes, her work status is critical to the family’s livelihood. She is needed in the workplace. She knows that and enjoys the experience. Yet, she remains conflicted.
Working moms are not looking for another work-life balance program, but real solutions to manage their inner battle of being successful in both arenas and feeling good about it. For them to win the guilt war, they must begin to define within themselves, the role of a “real mom”.
A working mom should not feel guilty for missing a family event, while working for the finances needed to sustain the family. She should not feel guilty for purchasing scrumptious baked goods for the school’s fundraiser or making a donation to the school in lieu of baking cookies. Her traits of motherhood may not be a replica of any of the beloved mothers of television’s Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best. She may resemble Clair Huxtable of The Cosby Show or Elsyse Keaton of Family Ties, where moms juggled their careers and family. Every woman is responsible for crafting her own story of motherhood. Her story of motherhood displays her authenticity, love and determination to be a great mom. It gives her freedom to be successful at home and work.
Sable Badaki, Corporate Mom Mentor at SheWorks and one of our keynote speakers, shares her secrets with other working moms who want to excel in the boardroom and at home without the guilt. Have questions? Contact her at guru@sheworksnow.com
The Working Mothers Expo brings together the very best products and services for working mothers are now available ONLINE. We’ve done the research, so you don’t have to. www.workingmothersexpo.com